People that deserve a hoard of slobbering, fire breathing, demon monkeys

As promised, this post will be about the people and things that should be eradicated by demon monkeys! Oh, happy day!

-Ahem- Aaaaaand here we go!

Over Zealous Glee Fans
You love Glee. You think its the bee's knees and the cat's meow. I get it. But when your every other Facebook post is about how Glee is the best thing of your life and you love the characters and anyone who doesn't watch it is stupid and blah blah blah, I want to slap you in the face with a dead fish.

Fan Girls
Fan girls come in many shapes, sizes, and obsessions. They are generally 13-15, have high pitched banshee voices, and will berate you for 12 hours if you say one negative thing about whatever they're obsessed with. Beware of these irritating little monsters and if you hear "OH EM GEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" in an octave only slightly lower than what only your dog can hear, RUN.

Twilight Moms
I shouldn't even have to elaborate on this, but I will. You, dear reader, have probably seen this either online, or if you're incredibly unlucky, in person. A "Twi-Mom" is a woman in her mid 40's, married with children, in love with a fictional 17 year old vampire (Edward), and this vampire happens to be targeted at a 14 year old demographic. This is so wrong on so many different levels. Twi-mom's probably have kids as old as their fictional love interest, first of all. Second, Edward has the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Third, and most importantly, HE IS NOT REAL. Please get a reality check and move on.

Delusional Fan Girls
This is a whole other category from normal fan girls. These fan girls have delusions of the object of their interest loving them back. They are anywhere from 12-20. They will frequently say things such as "back off of my husband!!!", "don't even think about my man!!!!!", "when I meet him, he'll fall in love with me too and we'll run off together!!!", or "that bitch he's dating needs to step off!!!!".
These girls make me want to *facepalm*.
He will never love you. He will never know you exist. He is so completely unobtainable. You are better off dating a walrus.

People Who Argue With Significant Others On The Dorm Walkway
You are loud. My window is open. I hear EVERYTHING YOU SAY, and I really don't care. Please go away. I'm not trying to eavesdrop, but you sound like a troop of howler monkeys getting attacked by hyenas while listening to death metal.
Yes, I do like monkeys.
Moving on.

People Who Shove Their Beliefs on You
You're a vegetarian? Fantastic! I'm a carnivore, and I'm perfectly happy with that. Yes, I eat things with a face. Leave me alone. 


Oh, there are plenty more things that annoy the hell out of me, but I figure this post is long enough.
Until next time.